A full-time job

Posted on July 31, 2011 by Viv

A while ago, I read the following on somebody’s Twitter or blog. I cannot remember exactly where I read it, so I am paraphrasing.

Living healthily is a full-time job. I wish I got paid for it.

That line stuck with me because I absolutely disagree with it. Or rather, I feel that if living healthily is genuinely like a full-time job for you, you are doing something wrong.

Now, I realize there is a certain irony in my saying this when I have a whole blog dedicated to living healthily, but I’m still saying it. Before I go on, I want to say that this is merely my opinion and I am not directing this post at anyone specifically. This is just my opinion, and you are free to disagree and live your life as you like.

I do believe that if you really want to live healthily, you have to put in some effort. You have to take the time to shop for healthy food, cook it and you have to take the time for working out. But I do not think that it should be taking up your whole life.

I often feel that when we (those in the weight loss blogging community) decide to turn our lives around, it starts revolving about living healthily, eating healthy food, and working out. Now, to a certain point this is probably needed because we need to make an effort to make this life style change. It doesn’t come as naturally as it does to those who have always lived like this.

But, is being obsessed with working out and healthy food really so much better than being obsessed with, well, not working out and unhealthy food? I don’t think so. I think that either extreme is not really all that healthy. In my opinion, we do have to put in an effort, we do have to focus our lives on living healthily, but only to a certain degree.

There is so much more to life than food (healthy or not) and working out, and when you make this your full-time job, you are neglecting other parts of your life. I think the healthiest way of living healthily is just doing it. When it becomes a natural part of your life to spend some time cooking and working out but your whole life doesn’t revolve around it, that is when you’ve gotten to the point when you have really changed your life style. I believe that’s how most thin people do it. They do not constantly think about what they should be eating, how many calories they should be burning in a workout. They simply eat right and work out some without spending the entire day thinking about it, it’s just normal. Of course there are exceptions but I don’t know if those should be our models for who we aspire to be like. I personally want to get to a point where I just do things right and feel great while I’m doing it. I want living healthily to be normal, not special, not anything I need to focus on. I want it to become a habit, part of a routine, second nature. Effortless.

I think moderation is really the keyword for just about anything in life. And it is so easy to over-do it, either way. I think that by focusing your entire energy on living healthily, on losing weight, on working out, etc., you are setting yourself up for a disappointment, because you cannot keep that up for the rest of your life without missing out on so many other things. I can only speak for myself but when living healthily is consuming your life to a point where it is essentially a full-time job, I think it’s time to remember everything else that is important in life.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you feel like living healthily is a full-time job? Should it be?

Third time’s the charm

Aside

Remember how I wrote I was going to take the OGTT today? Umm yeah. I started the test and then thought instead of waiting around being bored, I might as well call a friend of mine who I haven’t talked to in forever. I went to see Harry Potter last night and literally five minutes before the movie started, she called me and told me she is pregnant (so thrilled for her!). So I was dying to catch up with her and went outside to talk to her.

When I came back inside they told me, you know you aren’t supposed to walk around during the test. Of course I did, while I was on the phone. Great. So I went in and talked to the doctor* and she said it would be better to break it off and repeat it tomorrow morning as she wanted there to be no doubt about the test results. Not particularly looking forward to drinking that sugary concoction a third time, but it is my own damn fault.

Third time’s the charm, right?

* She did look at my previous test’s results and apparently they do indicate that something is off with how my body produces insulin and processes glucose (which points at insulin resistance). I will find out the exact results of the test next week but I am confident it was the right decision to see a specialist about this.

On support and friendship

Posted on July 26, 2011 by Viv

I think that everyone who has lost a significant amount of weight knows that having a support system is important. This support system can come in all shapes and forms. Many people who do Weight Watchers like to go to their meetings. I did once and decided it wasn’t for me. I found my support community online, through blogging about my weight loss journey.

In real life, I have been open about my weight loss for the most part. Most of my friends knew I was losing weight, but I did not tell every friend about all the details. With some, I was more comfortable talking about it, others less.

My best friend is one of the persons I was never that comfortable talking about my weight loss. I am not even sure I can properly explain why. I just never felt like she was being supportive in the way I needed her to be supportive.

She is one of those people who has never been overweight. Not even remotely. But that is not really it. I do prefer talking to people about losing weight who have been in the same situation, but you don’t have to have been overweight to be understanding and supportive.

I think part of it was that my friend gave very specific advice, expecting me to take it, and resenting me for not taking it when I didn’t. She resented me even more when, at a different point in time, someone else encouraged me to do something, and I took the advice from them. And I think that really, this is what it boils down to. My best friend was never supportive in a positive way, but instead in a way that made me feel bad and guilty (for being overweight, for not taking her advice, for hurting her by not taking her advice, etc.).

But as you may know, feeling guilty is really the worst thing when you are trying to lose weight. I do not need my friends to tell me what to eat, what not to eat. I do not need them to tell me that I need to lose weight. That I am grossly overweight. Or that I am risking my health. Yes, my best friend actually did that thinking that is what being supportive is all about, thinking that this may actually help me. I already know all that. I know all about the theory of losing weight, of living healthily. I do not need my friends to tell me what I am telling myself all the time. I already have a mirror. But knowing and doing are not the same thing. The doing is the hard part and that is something she knows nothing about.

What I need for my friends is to support me positively. Encourage me when I am doing well, not to give up. Encourage me when I am considering buying some inexpensive workout equipment, not say, ‘well, I wouldn’t use it, but it’s up to you.’ Tell me that I am a beautiful person regardless of my weight. That I can do this. Heck, compliment me when they can tell I have lost weight or just when I am wearing something that looks nice. Basically, boost my self-esteem, not lower it.

Most importantly, respect how I want to be supported and accept when I don’t take their advice because in the end it is still my decision. Accept that just because they are thin and know how to live healthily, that doesn’t mean they know anything about losing weight or about being overweight. Accept that just because they are my best friend does not mean that they will be my first choice of support for every single thing.

And if they cannot do that, realize that I’d rather turn to others for support and accept that without resenting me for it. But maybe that is too much to ask.

Have you had a friend who has not been supportive in the way you needed them to be? How did you deal with the situation?